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miércoles, diciembre 28, 2005

Warning – this post rated “R” for gory details.

My doctor’s thinks I’m hot. No, really. Over the last week or so, I had developed a pea sized growth on my cheek (“Oh it’s just a boil, nothing to worry about”), which, thanks to the excess body heat that I possess - ask my doc- grew to the size of a golf-ball (ok, may be that’s a slight exaggeration).

So not only was I completely unsightly and in pain (it was the equivalent of a man sitting in there with a sledgehammer, pounding my insides to a gooey pulp), it also gave my doc immense pleasure. You see, although I trust him blindly, that doesn’t change the facts.

He’s a sadist. So every day for the past three days, I have been undergoing the equivalent of labour pain. Lying on his recliner, I stifle my moans as he squeezes the hell outta my cheek, and watch him glow in the satisfaction. To make things worse, he makes it a point to show me each blood-soaked ball of cotton as he throws it away. Today’s supposedly the last day of this “draining” session (quite literally). Perhaps I won’t be so brave today and yell just when the waiting area is full. That should teach him a few lessons.

On a completely different note, I also think he’s a weirdo. The other day as he was examining my simian cheek, all of a sudden he froze. “Take off your glasses...” was followed by “Nice frame, where didja get that??” I rest my case.


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